*BONUS! SONG 4 U!
my plutonic [sic] life partner teeter and i often toss around the idea of publishing a book of our IM convrosations [sic] greatest hits, even if it's only two copies, because, as i've said before, nobody is funnier to us than us and we are one of us. tonight tho we came up with something that i think would appeal to those outside of our circle of 2, and that is the song we wrote, "why don't i have any friends," sung to the tune of the golden girls theme song, which is fitting, cuz this is my personal theme song for my life in los angeles. enjoy.
why don't i have any friends
guess it's just me and tivo again
i live alone and i'm talking to myself
and if i had a party, invited everyone i knew
you would see that who'd show up is nobody
and eating all the chips i'd ask, why don't i have any friends
*(reposted) review: rescue me
[ok, another reposted review, this time from datexedge, originally posted in may, but it's timely actually cuz i'm currently in nh forcing my parents to watch rescue me season 1. since writing this, i got caught up, and while i love this season, what's the big story arc? i don't even want to suggest anything, cuz somebody's gonna have a spoiler tantrum, and even though nobody reads this, i want to make sure my (wee) audience is happy, unspoiler'd, and convinced to watch the show. it's such a good show! and they can say cock and asshole! anywho, new review posted 4 u 2sday. (signed, your friend, prince.)]
one thing i've come to realize about boston, now that i haven't lived there for 10+ years and have become so homesick for the east coast that i geniunely miss living among a million catholic people who have such a colorful pronounciation of the word fart, is that it is one giant small town. denis leary's "no cure for cancer" came out when i was 14 i think, and even though it's an OTT collection of jokes about shit, smoking, fucking, and basically a best of-/overdone melange of bill hicks' material (i know, i know, but i'm over it), the guy became a local hero.
and this despite the fact he's actually from worcester, an hour-ish west. it's the "second biggest city in massachusetts," which is kind of like boasting you're in the top 5th height percentile of the lollipop guild. anyway, worcester is truly the sphincter of the state (you'd think athol would be, but no), so i can see why he's running with the boston thing. like the way people from long island always try to get away with saying they're from queens, except that's a little more like being an asshole but insisting you're actually a shithead. anyway.
so despite the quality of his output/actual origins in rectumtown, leary's still a local hero. so is john raztenberger, and he just played a boston moron on tv. and i'm sure "the departed" is going to top the boston film critics' association's best of list again this year, and next year, and on and on until another movie comes out where everybody pronounces it "faht." the ideal would be "jordan's furniture commercial: the movie!" that regional joke? becoming local legend, as we speak.
but, like i said, i'm east coast homesick, even for new york, which i was so fucking burnt out on a year ago. i spent some time there in january, when it's at its greyest and most soul-destroying, and even then, i wrote an open letter to christ their lord, begging him to deliver me to a job somewhere in the five boroughs that'd allow me the ability to afford my own (currently subletted) apartment. i went to better burger, and while waiting for my turkey deliciousness, a tv was showing ny1 and just the sight of pat kiernan made me want to weep. thank god it wasn't gary anthony ramsey, or i probably would've ripped my clothes and thrashed upon the floor. so when i finally gave in to the chorus of people telling me to watch "rescue me" (a chorus of two; emma was soprano, brendan was alto), it was pretty much the greatest thing ever.
not only is the show dripping with nyfd pride/general nyc goodness (cinema village! vesleka! horrible queens/shitheadville! love it!), but everyone on it is from boston. not just denis leary, but lenny clarke, who sounds like the third tappet brother from car talk, and friggin cam neely-- cam neely!-- who actually gets to play hockey and act like the fourth (not-"funny lookin'") hanson brother from slapshot. can manny cameo as a little league coach? can someone set bill weld's townhouse on fire? can there be a gay couple played by the guys who own jordan's furniture?
and oh yeah, the show is really funny, and denis leary pulls a steve coogan in that he's playing himself to his most assholish finest. i could do without the talking to ghosts, but so could denis' character, and i haven't seen season 3 (dvd out june 5th!), so maybe he does, who knows. i also heard that at the end of that season he sort of rapes his wife (!?), which is an upper level of asshole that might be just out of my reach as a viewer, but whatever, i'll cross that bridge when i come to it. maybe it's a test of my loyalty, and if i can overcome this moment in the show, jesus will deliver me back to my rightful home in manhattan, *and* give me a guild job with dental. ah, jesus. the ultimate catholic local hero.