Tuesday, January 8, 2008

i lost the keys to the kingdom! / mini mini review: atonement

[image: in london over xmas, emma figured out her new years resolution early.]

seriously! due a series of technically problem/general lack of mental prowess, i was e-silenced from my own personal one-stop internet source of self amusement! unable to write and read my own witticisms, i had to recite them to myself while alone in the car, but let me tell you, i lose a lot off the page!

anyway, it's supposed to rain tomorrow, so i will do my best then to sum up the last month while sitting in this office and listening to the ice dams break. for now, just know that i got to vote today and you didn't, it's not too late to wish emma a happy birthday, and what my opinion is of atonement.

i didn't really want to see this movie, but pickins was slim; we never seem to go to concord, which means the closest movie theaters are the west lebanon 6, aka the west leb anonymous, so nicknamed for the fact that the steps leading up to the projection booth are labeled with the 12 steps of recovery (bill t or whoever was a cinaste, who knew?), and the nugget, the nonprofit/semi-arty movie theater on main street hanover that we all enjoy going to despite the fact that the audiences are always made up of loud, deaf old people and young, drunk dartmouth people. and really, there is so little to do in hanover that going with your dorm buddies and sneaking a few 40s of mickeys into the 8 o'clock of syrianna seems like a strong plan for a saturday night.

i guess i did want to see this movie because james mcavoy is in it, and i'm comfortable with my cliche white girl crushes at this point, although (SPOILER ALERT NOT REALLY!) i do think it's weird that this short, super-pale, semi-ginger actor, as hot as he is, is the go-to male lead to fucks ladies against walls. or bookcases. or i guess in starter for 10 it's more of an awkard push onto a bed, but still-- in the last king of scotland he gets it on against the wall of a grotto! he's a hairless, 5'6" englishman-- would you pick him out of a line-up as the vertical grotto sex haver? daniel craig, maybe, but james mcavoy? will wonders never cease. or recline.

anyway, the reason i can go off on all this non-plot related shit is because this movie doesn't really have a plot, or more accurately, it doesn't have a middle. there's the shocking EVENT of the first act, and that leads to a result, but the getting to that result is essentially filler. bad for the story, good for those of us who just want an excuse to look at james mcavoy.

also, in the way the movie enchanted depicted the most turned on a woman's ever been by chest hair, atonement (SPOILER ALERT FOR CERTAIN!) shows us that tossing around the word cunt can ruin your entire fucking life. but it can also get you laid while standing up. knowing that (and looking at the picture below), you can probably skip atonement. which means i just saved you the price of a movie ticket, ya lucky cunt.

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